


Coming Undone

by Ayesha_Altugle



Series: Elements of Darkness [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dark, Darkness, Elements of Darkness, M/M, Non-Canon Relationship, Oneshot, Romance, Short Story, alternative universe, coming undone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 04:37:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14536821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayesha_Altugle/pseuds/Ayesha_Altugle
Summary: Severus Snape has memory loss and Remus Lupin wants to find a way to bring his memory back.





	Coming Undone

**Author's Note:**

> Elements of Darkness #2 Coming Undone
> 
> Part 1 is called Drowning and is needed to understand this story. The rest of the oneshots in this series are not related, unless otherwise noted.

When Remus looked across the Great Hall at the Slytherin table, he couldn't help but frown as he watched the clueless child-minded Severus as his own housemates teased him. They seemed unaffected by the fact that Severus was suffering from brain damage and he couldn't remember anything other than his name, and surprisingly Remus's name, not to mention Severus thought he was eleven years old! The fact that Severus somehow remembered Remus's name was probably the only reason why the Slytherin had taken to practically clinging to the werewolf, almost as if Remus were a mother chicken and Severus were a baby chick.

Under different circumstances it could be called cute. It would be called cute if Severus really were a small child, and not a seventeen year old teenager with a problem not even Madam Pomfry could heal. She had said it was one of those “Wait and see” conditions. Even the wizard hospital had trouble curing conditions of the mind.

_He's going to go crazy at this rate if his housemates don't stop teasing him._ Remus thought sadly.  _He thinks like a child, and a wide, eyed innocent one at that._ Severus didn't even remember anything to do with magic and when he was told that he went to a magic school, the boy had laughed until he couldn't breathe.

_You have lost your memory do to your accident,_ Remus could remember Madam Pomfry gently explaining to the Slytherin.  _Severus look in the mirror. Do you really look eleven years old?_ Severus had indeed looked in the mirror the healer held up to him and he seemed terrified at his appearance.

Remus would always remember how he cried. The Severus Snape he knew would never let himself break down like that in front of anyone, let alone a Gryffindor. Remus even doubted Severus would do that in front of the person he was closest to. That person would be Lily Evans, who was his best friend since childhood. Though now, Severus couldn't even remember who she was.

He didn't even remember Dumbledore. How someone could forget a wizard with such a powerful presence, and yet remember a person you hated was beyond Remus. He didn't understand why things happened the way they did.

_Why does he only remember me?_ Remus sighed.

His friend were giving him worried looks. Thankfully they were big enough to put the feud to the side, knowing that Severus was not himself at all. Worst enemy or not, an innocent child, even if only in mind, did not deserve horrible treatment from someone so much older, even if it was only in mind.

“Maybe Dumbledore can let him bunk with us, Remus,” Peter offered. He smiled timidly, wishing to see his friend smile again.

“I don't know if that would be allowed,” Remus answered. “But look at him, he's... mental, isn't he? Thinking he is eleven, not knowing anyone, except me, and not even remembering Hogwarts.” He didn't bother mentioning how Severus could look happy one moment, but then the next moment when reminded he had lost his memory, he would have a freak out, crying and clinging to whoever was close to him. He had said _“I'm scared. I don't know who I am for real,”_ to Remus at one point. 

Remus wasn't sure what to tell the teenager. He didn't want to tell Severus who he really was. At this rate, finding out that he had been someone who hated being around other people would probably cause Severus to go even more crazy, as this new version of Severus was very much a people person, at least around those who were nice to him. Severus closed off around his housemates, learning right away that nobody there could be trusted.

If Severus ever did get his memory back, Remus knew the Slytherin would be mortified for life by his current behavior. Remus felt tears prick at his eyes again. His friends were shameful for what they had done, though they couldn't understand why Remus took it so personally.

Everyone watched as Severus jumped up from his house table and briskly walked past the other house tables, until he was standing behind Remus. Everyone knew more or less that Severus had undergone some mental trauma, but nevertheless it was still weird seeing the Slytherin acting the way he did.

“Remus,” Severus whispered. His eyes darted to the other Gryffindor's, as if nervous they too would be mean to him like the people from his own house. Though nobody said anything and Severus relaxed slightly. Remus was a Gryffindor, and he was very nice, so that must have meant the rest of their house was nice too.

“Yes Severus?” Remus asked quietly. “What's wrong?” The werewolf was tugged to his feet. He looked down at the slightly shorter Slytherin.

“I hate my house,” Severus said with a frown. He wasn't being very quiet about it either, though only the other Gryffindor's heard him and a few Ravenclaws.

“Join the club,” Sirius said before he could stop himself. Severus sent the dark haired Gryffindor a curious look, and despite being who he was, Sirius couldn't help feeling like a loser for what he and James had done to the Slytherin. Snape was so, so different when he wasn't acting like a greasy git.

“There's a club for people who hate my house?” Severus asked with wide, believing eyes.

Remus sent Sirius a look, before gently squeezing Severus's hand. "Don't listen to Sirius. Remember I told you he was a troublemaker?" The werewolf was half smiling, so Sirius at least knew he had forgiven him for causing Severus and Remus to be hurt by the giant squid.

"I said I was sorry, didn't I?" Sirius wasn't used to saying sorry to the git... er to Severus, though he finally did when Remus said he wouldn't forgive him for hurting him.

Severus shrugged his shoulders at the Gryffindor. "I don't care one way or another, cause I don't remember it, so it would be dumb to be angry over something that feels like never happened." He tugged at Remus's hand. "Can we leave?"

With a soft sigh, Remus glanced down at him and smiled gently. "Sure. I suppose so. But where will we go?"

Severus shrugged again, his eyes wide. "How should I know? I don't know where we are. And that bearded guy is of his rocker to think this is some magic school, boarding school, sure, but magic?" Severus flushed when some nearby Ravenclaw girls started to giggle.

Remus chuckled. "Would you believe if you were shown proof?"

Severus gave Remus a look that could only be translated into "are you crazy too?" but the teenager just laughed, as if thinking it were very impossible to show him any proof. Sure, he had been awake for a couple days, but this was his first time out of the hospital wing, and everything he saw in there seemed normal. Remus had visited him almost non stop, each time he did, Severus felt much closer to the pretty boy. He wished that he was older!

 _Oh yeah..._ Severus scowled, almost looking like his old self, before his face completely fell. Remus caught the look and knew at once that something must have reminded the boy that he wasn't really eleven and that he had lost his mind in a drowning accident.

"Lets go," Remus said quickly, before anyone could call out to Severus and make him feel worse. Though really, only his fellow Slytherins were still tormenting him, not caring that at the moment, he was just eleven years old in mind, and not only that, his memories of Hogwarts and everything else that led up to him being who he was were gone too. Remus gently lead the boy to the doors, trying to stay away from the Slytherin table, though that didn't stop some of them from standing up and yelling offensive things their way. The werewolf shook his head.

"It isn't fair," Severus exploded when they were out of earshot of everyone else. "I feel normal, but then I keep getting reminded that I am not." He had big fat tears running down his cheeks. His dark eyes were tormented.

Remus felt his heart clinch in pain as he watched the other coming undone before his eyes again. He gently pulled the Slytherin into an empty classroom and put his hands on his shoulders. "Severus..." Remus whispered, letting his guard down, not aware how loving his voice sounded.

Severus looked up with curious eyes. "What?" He sniffed. He truly looked like a broken version of his old self.

"You are normal," Remus said softly. "Just because you're having a little memory loss does not make you any different from me or anyone else. Hey, there's nothing wrong with being eleven. I remember eleven. Fun times... though I dare say Sirius and James got me into a lot of trouble my first year."

The Slytherin wiped the tears off his cheeks. "My body is seventeen, right?" He looked down and sure enough, he did not look like a little boy. "Why would the accident make me go back to being eleven again and make me forget everything except for you, Rem?"

The werewolf smiled at the nickname, wondering if he'd ever hear it again when Severus turned back to his seventeen year old self. "I'm not sure to be honest, but I promise everything will be okay."

"I trust you," Severus said. If Remus said things would be okay then they would be. Severus leaned up, wrapping his arms around him. Remus felt himself flush all over, forgetting for a moment that Severus was not coming onto him or something. He was only a kid for Godric's sake! At least his brain was... for now. Would it ever change?

Something major had happened to cause Severus's mind to backtrack many years, so Remus could only imagine something just as major had to happen to jump start Severus's mind and put it back to it's normal wavelength. Madam Pomfry had tried potions and charms, and spells, over and over while the Slytherin was asleep. They didn't want to alarm the boy who didn't believe in magic, though soon he would be able to see the proof of magic when Dumbledore made him go to classes. If the healer couldn't do anything about Severus's condition, then Remus was at a loss. There had to be something he could do? What would make Severus remember?

Severus looked up at Remus with child-like curiosity in his eyes. "Will you do something for me?" He asked. He shuffled his feet, the blush on his cheeks looking much more brighter because his eyes and hair were so dark and his skin so unusually pale.

Remus fidgeted, having a feeling what the other was going to ask. "Depends on what it is," He answered truthfully. He really would do anything for the person he surprisingly fell in love with, but the last thing he would do was take advantage of him when he wasn't himself.

"Kiss me?" Severus mumbled. "I really like you. You're really nice and... you're pretty, and and... I know I'm only... a kid, but..." Severus frowned. "I'm feeling stuff that is confusing me."

It was normal for a kid to get a crush on someone older, though Severus's feelings were much more confusing. "I can't kiss you Severus," Remus answered sadly. He would have liked nothing more then to kiss him, but it wouldn't be right.

"Why?" Severus pouted. "My body is the same as yours, isn't it?" He tried to reason.

"Of course our bodies are more or less the same... age that is, but that isn't why I can't kiss you!" Remus pulled away from the Slytherin. "It's not just because you think you're eleven, either, so don't think that..." Remus looked away from the other. "It's because you aren't.... well, you're not yourself and you might be angry at me when you get your memories back. I can't take advantage of that."

And to be honest, it really would be weird and wrong feeling to kiss someone who thought they were eleven. Remus just didn't want to give Severus further reason to pout like kids did when they were told they were too young to do something.

Remus stared at Severus who hadn't made any comment to his words. He felt really horrible, like he was the bad guy here, breaking some kid's heart. Remus backed up from Severus, letting out a yelp when something of the Slytherin's old self shined through his eyes.

It must have been his instinct or something, because before Remus could react, lips were pressed against his own. The kiss wasn't forceful or even all that horrible, though Remus didn't kiss back. It was like Severus was curious and trying to figure out how kissing worked. Severus pulled back, gently pushing Remus away, his eyes wide and horrified. He was looking at Remus with a mix of emotions behind his eyes.

It was only a kiss and Severus had been the one wanting to do it. Severus blinked his eyes, before turning away from Remus. "Sorry," He said, sounding stranger then usual.

It was then that Remus knew Severus's memory returned and things wouldn't go back to being the same ever. Why had the kiss triggered his memories? Remus sighed. Why did Severus apologize? Normally Severus would never say sorry, let alone to a Gryffindor, right?

“Sever...” Remus trailed off, not sure if it was okay to continue calling the teenager by his first name. It wasn't as if they were friends. He had been there for Severus when his mind had come undone, but that friendship wouldn't carry over now that Severus was _back,_ would it?

Severus glanced back at Remus, looking torn between wanting to run and wanting to stay. He wasn't comfortable with people knowing how he really felt. “Mm?” He mumbled.

“How did your memories get triggered?” Remus asked.

“I don't know,” Severus answered. He looked down at his feet.

Dumbledore's words come to mind, _Love is by far the most powerful magic._

Remus flushed, before turning away from the other. Severus couldn't possibly be in love with him too, though there was a way to find out. He turned back toward Severus and without a word, pressed up against him. He shivered, parting his lips just slightly, barely inches from Severus's. He knew this could end up horribly, but it was worth taking the risk.

Both felt a pulling that couldn't be described.

“Don't be sorry,” Remus whispered, and with that, Severus leaned up and kissed him.

Now they both felt like they were coming undone in the privacy of the empty classroom, but it felt liberating. Sometimes coming undone wasn’t a bad thing. They let their emotions and teenage hormones take over.

Later, they would deal with the coincidences.


End file.
